Who we reveal ourselves to be

Post-4260-0-61624700-1481802031_thumbThis week’s Torah portion, Vayigash, brings a dramatic turn in the Joseph story. After a long and twisty series of events — beginning maybe with Joseph telling the brothers to return to Egypt and bring Benjamin, Rachel’s other son, with them; or beginning maybe with the famine that brought the brothers down to Egypt in search of food; or beginning maybe when the brothers sold Joseph into slavery in the first place — Joseph can’t stand to hide from his brothers any more.

וְלֹֽא־יָכֹ֨ל יוֹסֵ֜ף לְהִתְאַפֵּ֗ק לְכֹ֤ל הַנִּצָּבִים֙ עָלָ֔יו וַיִּקְרָ֕א הוֹצִ֥יאוּ כָל־אִ֖ישׁ מֵעָלָ֑י וְלֹא־עָ֤מַד אִישׁ֙ אִתּ֔וֹ בְּהִתְוַדַּ֥ע יוֹסֵ֖ף אֶל־אֶחָֽיו׃

Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.

Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, saying “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” They’re so dumbfounded they can’t answer him. So he repeats himself: I am Joseph, whom you sold into slavery. And then he reassures them: don’t be distressed. God sent me here ahead of you in order to save life: to save your lives, to save our father’s life, to save the life and the future of our nation. He’ll say it even more explicitly later: don’t worry. You thought you were doing me ill, but God meant it for good.

The Hebrew word להתודע is a reflexive verb, meaning “to make oneself known.” Joseph isn’t just introducing himself — “Hi, my name is Joseph, nice to meet you.” He’s making himself known. He’s showing them who he really is. He’s revealing something core. And what does he reveal? An apparently unshakeable faith and trust. From his current vantage, even the worst events of his life can be redeemed. He can make something good out of them. God can make something good out of them.

If I were to choose from this list of character strengths to describe Joseph, top on my list would be emunah, faith and trust (in this translation, “conviction.”) He’s strong in gevurah, discipline and will power. He’s strong in anavah, humility. (Remember his repeated insistence that it is not he who interprets dreams, but rather God, flowing through him.) He’s strong in netzach, perseverance and grit. These are the qualities I see revealed in who his life story has led him to become.

Sometimes life gives us active opportunities to make ourselves known: I feel safe with a trusted friend so I let down my guard and show the tenderest parts of who I am, or I feel the situation at hand demands that I be honest so I make the choice to speak what I truly believe. And sometimes we make ourselves known in subtler ways, maybe without even realizing that we are doing so. We make ourselves known through our actions, our deeds, our words, our tone, our priorities, our choices.

There’s so much that we can’t control, including birth, family of origin dynamics, how others treat us, when and whether we struggle with illness, etc. But Joseph’s story is a reminder that we can choose what qualities we want to cultivate, both in years of emotional “plenty” and in years of spiritual “famine.” The qualities we choose to cultivate reveal who we are. When change or conflict or challenge offers us an opportunity to make ourselves known, who do we want to reveal ourselves to be?

 

This is the d’varling that Rabbi Rachel offered at CBI this morning. (Cross-posted to Velveteen Rabbi.)

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